Dear Razza Matazz,
I went shopping for some of your stockings today. Due to my chronic addiction to chocolate (see previous post), I tend to navigate towards your ‘fuller figure’ stockings, the ones that you so graciously call curvaceous (who are you kidding?).
Usually, the stockings come in a package like this:
Note the appropriately curvy model on the front. TBH, she probably still buys the standard sizes, but at least she looks the part. I look at this picture and I know that I’m looking at the stockings that will fit.
Today when I went shopping I didn’t see your familiar model. In fact I didn’t see any plus size models, so I assumed that they were out of stock and I would have to wear trousers for the rest of this week. However, on closer inspection, I found these:
Apparently you’ve updated the packaging. The text says ‘curvaceous’ and ‘for the fuller figure’, but the picture tells a different story.
Perhaps this girl is a bit bootylicious, and it looks like she even has thigh muscles (gasp!!), but she shouldn’t be modelling stockings for the fuller figure. Her figure isn’t fuller. It’s just about full.
Cut the crap, and stop making me feel even more ginormous by putting these kinds of models on your packaging.
Also, get that girl some counselling, she will have some major body dysmorphia issues after you’re through.
Yours sincerely,
Angry Ranter
